You know you're slow when you come in third in a two-person race.
We're having a heatwave. Be sure to wave back!
Living your life is like shaving; no matter how well you do it today, you still gotta do it tomorrow.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
True Friends know the song of your heart and sing it back when you have forgotten it.
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
You know you're a geek if... you window shop at Radio Shack.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.