The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Bertrand Russell

War does not determine who is right. War determines who is left.

Jack Handey

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.

Dennis the Menace

How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left-handed people are in their right mind.

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