The cheapest way to have your family tree traced is to run for public office.
All in favor of conserving gasoline, raise your right foot.
To err is human. To forgive is not company policy.
You're never going to get anywhere if you think you're already there.
Graveyards are full of people who thought the world couldn't get along without them.
He who toots his own horn has everybody dodging him.
The more praise a person is willing to take, the less he deserves it.
Egotism is obesity of the head.
To deflate your ego, read the Help Wanted ads and discover all the jobs you're not equipped to handle.
No matter how much he has, a person never gets over wanting something for nothing.