Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

Gertrude Stein

In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is.

My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except my blinding headaches.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

Aerobics: I guess gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down'."

Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social rumble ain't restful.

LeRoy "Satchel" Paige

If you stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.

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