If a horse can't eat it, I don't want to play on it.
The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
I never knew an auctioneer to lie, unless it was absolutely necessary.
Asthma doesn't seem to bother me anymore unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
The best one can say of most modern creative art is that it is just a little less vulgar than reality.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines.
All dogs look up to you. All cats look down to you. Only a pig looks at you as an equal.
It's more fun contemplating somebody else's navel than your own.
When bad ideas have nowhere else to go, they emigrate to America and become university courses.