Billy Wilder

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award.

When you have committed a fault, be pert and insolent, and behave as if you were the injured person.

They were a tense and peculiar family, the Oedipuses, weren't they?

Fran Lebowitz

The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough get you a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?

An epigram is a half-truth so stated as to irritate the person who believes the other half.

Fran Lebowitz

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

One of the first things a kid learns when he gets a drum set for Christmas is that he isn't likely to ever get another one.

An economist wears a watch chain with a Phi Betta Kappa key at one end and no watch at the other.

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