Frank Zappa

Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.

The actual Irish weather report is really a recording made in 1922, which no one has had occasion to change: "Scattered showers, periods of sunshine."

When you tell him a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.

The airplane, the atomic bomb and the zipper have cured me of any tendency to state that a thing can't be done.

A. G. MacDonald

He is so conceited that he will not even guess that we are saying how conceited he is.

John Cleese

I have seen better organized creatures than you running around farmyards with their heads cut off.

The Honorable Member disagrees. I can hear him shaking his head.

I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved.

He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.

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