Delmore Schwartz

I got married the second time in the way that, when a murder is committed, crackpots turn up at the police station to confess the crime.

I am not in favor of long engagements. They give people the opportunity of finding out about each other's character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.

David Letterman

I love baseball. You get the rosin, the pine tar, the red clay -- man are those hot dogs tasty.

Before getting married, find out if you're really in love. Ask yourself, "Would I mind getting financially destroyed by this person?"

Germaine Greer

When Washington said he could not tell a lie, his father must have answered, "You had better learn."

Don Marquis

He is so unlucky that he runs into accidents which start out to happen to somebody else.

Joel Chandler Harris

Watch out when you're getting all you want; fattened hogs ain't in luck.

E. M. Cioran

Love: an agreement on the part of two people to overestimate each other.

Living in Los Angeles is like being a hemophiliac in a razor factory.

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