I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.

What we want is a story that starts with an earthquake and works its way up to a climax.

I'm a Hollywood writer, so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.

Bryan Miller

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill.

Gore Vidal

Reading of any kind is on the decline. Half the American people never read a newspaper. Half never vote for President. One hopes it is the same half.

If I were running the world I would have it rain only between 2 and 5AM. Anyone who was out then ought to get wet.

The exclamation mark is the literary equivalent of a man holding up a card reading LAUGHTER to a studio audience.


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