If you think nobody cares whether you are alive or dead, try missing a couple of car payments.

Edward Williams

I gave him an unlimited budget and he exceeded it.

I wouldn't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk as me.

The reason that some portraits don't look true to life is that some people make no effort to resemble their pictures.

Arnold H. Glasow

Never buy a portable television set in the street from a man who is out of breath.

If it's a bill, the Post Office will get it to you in 24 hours. If it's a check, allow them a couple of weeks.

Frank Ross

If something's old and you're trying to sell it, it's obsolete. If you're trying to buy it, it's a collector's item.

George Coote

The person who writes the bank's advertising slogan is not the same person who makes the loans.

Anita Blackmon

The quickest way to get rid of people is to lend them money.

The Venus de Milo is a good example of what happens to somebody who won't stop biting her fingernails.

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