I envy people who drink. As least they have something to blame everything on.

Baudelaire

It is regrettable that, among the Rights of Man, the right of contradicting oneself has been forgotten.

A collaboration is a literary partnership based on the false assumption that the other person can spell.

John Callaghan

Finish your vegetables! There are thousands of children in Hollywood with eating disorders.

In any election, the candidate supported by the teachers' union is always the one to vote against.

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

F. J. Raymond

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

John Cage

I have nothing to say, I am saying it and that is poetry.

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