Liz Smith

Do not join encounter groups. If you enjoy being made to feel inadequate, call your mother.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

Cecil Rhodes

I went to South Africa only because I could no longer stand English cold mutton.

Carol Siskind

I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

Every good journalist has a novel in him -- which is an excellent place for it.

The efficiency of our criminal jury system is marred only by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who do not know anything and cannot read.

J. R. Miller

Consider going on a diet if there is a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants.

My father used to go round in some peculiar circles; one of his legs was shorter than the other.

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