I lent a friend ten thousand dollars for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.
I have discovered that all human evil comes from this: man's being unable to sit still in a room.
Nowadays a citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that a fine is generally much lighter.
The second day of a diet is easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
What's the matter, do you think my fallacy is wrong?
Poverty is hereditary; you get it from your children.
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
Proof-reading is more effective after publication.
There's a new dictionary for masochists. It has all the words but they're not in alphabetical order.