Someday son you'll meet somebody very special. Someone who won't press charges.

Cooking a crocodile is easy. You need two pots of boiling water, one for the crocodile and one for a rock. By the time the rock is tender, the crocodile will be cooked.


Many things do not happen as they ought. Most things do not happen at all. It is for the conscientious historian to correct these defects.

Lawyers make a living out of trying to figure out what other lawyers have written.

Alexei Sayle

You don't eat Mexican food -- you just rent it.

Everybody wants to save the earth, but nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

Lisa Alther

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.

J. B. Morton

Though he tortures the English language, he has never yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning.

With this so-called nouvelle cuisine there is nothing on your plate and plenty on your bill.


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