What every author really wants is to have letters printed in the newspaper. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

Artemus Ward

Why is this thus? What is the reason for this thusness?

Edward W. Howe

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

Anita Brookner

In real life, of course, it is the hare who wins. Every time. Look around you.

Enrico Fermi

Before I came here, I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture, I am still confused. But on a higher level.

He was so thick he couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if he got two guesses.

Betrand Russell

Hegel set out his philosophy with so much obscurity that people thought it must be profound.

David Dinkins

I haven't committed a crime. All I did was fail to comply with the law.

H. L. Mencken

All Shakespeare did was string together a lot of old well-known quotations.

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