Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.

My grades were four F's and a D. My tutor suggested I was spending too much time on one subject.

George S. Kaufman

My office hours are twelve to one with an hour off for lunch.

A. A. Gill

Ostrich tastes like the progeny of an unnatural and uncomfortable liason between a duck and a sheep.

I don't do much book reviewing anymore. It interferes too much with my reading.

If you put two economists in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is Keynes, in which case you get three opinions.

Every household has a box of odd keys. None of them will ever be found to fit any lock.

I'm such an optimist I'd go after Moby Dick in a rowboat and take the tartar sauce with me.

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