John Cleese

I work for the BBC. I was hoping to go into program planning but unfortunately I've got a degree.

Karen O'Byrne

We should be eternally grateful to the person who invented the idiot box on the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

A foreign correspondent is someone who flies around from hotel to hotel and thinks that the most interesting thing about any story is the fact that he has arrived to cover it.

Eddie Murphy

How did I get involved in a terrible film? The door opened and four men came in carrying a check.

Kin Hubbard

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of the average family.

David Letterman

The worst thing that could happen on my show is that somebody might learn something.

Fran Lebowitz

There are many things you can learn from children. Like how much patience you have, for instance.

Frank Lloyd Wright

Television is chewing gum for the mind.


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