Joan Rivers

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely broke.

Bill Schorr

He's a schizophrenic with low self esteem. He think's he's one person.

It is amazing what little harm doctors do when one considers all the opportunities they have.

Politics is the conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Abe Lemons

Just once I'd like to see the win-loss records of doctors right out front where people could see them: won 10, lost 3, tied 2.

He could snatch a spectacular defeat out of the jaws of victory.

There is nothing wrong with California that the San Andreas Fault cannot cure.

If it were not necessary to eat or wear clothes, Russia would be the greatest country in the world.

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