Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition be disqualified from ever doing so.

Gloria Estefan

Jim Morrison is dead now and that's a high price to pay for immortality.

Dobie Gillis

The Roman Empire declined and fell because it takes all day to say anything in Latin.

After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes: "No hablo ingles."

The music of Wagner imposes mental tortures that only algebra has the right to inflict.

A psychiatrist is the next person you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

It is not enough to have every intelligent person in the country voting for me. I need a majority.

My opponent can compress the most words into the fewest ideas of anyone I've ever known.

Canadians are generally indistinguishable from Americans and the surest way of telling the two apart is to make this observation to a Canadian.


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