I object to you. I object to intellect without discipline. I object to power without constructive purpose.

Stories often have happy endings. It's life that throws you for a loop.

John Mendoza

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

George Carlin

There are only two places in the world: over here, and over there.

I called a temp agency looking for work and they asked if I had any phone skills. I said, "I called you, didn't I?"

I was thrown out of Victoria's Secret. I gave the secret away, and they just frown on that.

You humanoids. You're all obsessed with these convoluted mating rituals.

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