One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Groucho Marx

Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

We're using sign language more and more. We sign for just about everything we buy.

Because I feel inferior I try harder. Because I am inferior it doesn't do any good.

There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line.

I've always wanted to be filthy rich. So far, I've only gotten the first part.

Slang is just language stripped down to get more speed with less horsepower.

My husband said when he was young, he used to live in the country. I said, when you were young, everybody lived in the country.

Jackie Mason

I can't go to work because I have trouble with my back. I can't get it off the bed.


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