My family doctor is just like my family dog. Neither one of them will come when you call.

Joey Bishop

My doctor is wonderful. When I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up my xrays.

A hospital is an institution that is dedicated to the cure of disease -- and modesty.

Dentists are different. For one thing, they're the only people who will invite you to spit in their sink.

My mommy used kisses to make my hurts go away. My doctor says he'll stick with aspirin.

Good artists exist simply in what they make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Jay Leno

As Miss America, my goal is to bring peace to the entire world and then to get my own apartment.

Earl Wilson

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.


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