I've been on a constant diet for two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
There are some good things about having bad memory. Last week I threw myself a surprise party.
I have such poor vision I can date anybody.
I can't figure out which covers less -- the hospital gown or my insurance company.
Nature's wonderful. The older-looking you get, the harder it is to see yourself in the mirror.
Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than bad memory.
She's so cross-eyed, she can go to a tennis match and never move her head.
I've never been sick a day in my life. Nights I get a little nauseous, but days never.
I had a muscle that twitched all day yesterday. It's the most exercise I've had in years.
I have so many aches and pains that I list liniment as one of my hobbies.