Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.

Doug Larson

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Barry Switzer

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.

The more you read and observe about this politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

Garrison Keillor

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.

Hagar the Horrible

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

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