One politician has his hand out so often, his palm is sunburned.
Q: How long does it take you to get to work in the morning? A: About an hour after I reach the office.
When I talk to him, I feel a dunce cap starting to grow out of the top of my head.
I flunked arithmetic 3 times. Once more will make it 5.
Would you prefer sirloin steak, lobster tails, or electricity for the rest of the month?
The optimist sees a glass that is half full. The pessimist sees one that is half empty. I see a glass that is twice the size it needs to be.
The secret of any business success is to understand the customer's problems and to provide solutions so as to help them be profitable and feel good about the transaction.
He uses words that are longer than my resume.
Sharks never sleep. That's why you'll never catch one wearing pajamas.
If he doesn't know the answer, there isn't one.