The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
Artistic temperment is a disease that afflicts amateurs.
Every story has three sides to it: yours, mine, and the facts.
The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
When we quarrel, how we wish we had been blameless.
Better be quarrelling than lonesome.
The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.
I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.