Benjamin Franklin

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

Cato the Elder

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

It is wise to apply the oil of refined politeness to the mechanisms of friendship.

Laurence J. Peter

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.

The degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic.

Jane Wagner

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.

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