A short fortune-teller has escaped from prison. Be on the lookout for a small medium at large.

Q: What's the difference between your neighborhood McDonald's and a Clear Channel radio station? A: The voice behind the microphone at McDonald's is live and local.

Dave Barry

The metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Anne Tyler

Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!-

Franklin P. Jones

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

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