Consultants are people who borrow your watch to tell you the time and then walk off with it.
Economists are people who think that the poor need them to tell them that they are poor.
Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.
Accounting is a malicious extension of the banking conspiracy.
An actuary is someone who moved out of accounting because he couldn't stand the excitement.
He's called a broker because after you deal with him that's exactly what you are.
Lawyers and painters can soon turn white to black.
Accountants are the witch doctors of the modern world.
I come from an environment where, if you see a snake, you kill it. At General Motors, if you see a snake, the first thing you do is hire a consultant on snakes. Then you spend a year talking about snakes.
The modern editor of a paper does not want facts. The editor wants novelty. He would prefer a novelty that is not a fact to a fact that is not a novelty.