There are three kinds of intelligence: the intelligence of man, the intelligence of animals, and the intelligence of the military. In that order.

Mathematics may be defined as that subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.

I am inclined to think that one's education has been in vain if one fails to learn that most schoolmasters are idiots.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a scientific man to pass through a door.

A dentist is a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

Auditors watch a battle from the safety of a hillside and when the battle is over, come down to count the dead and bayonet the wounded.

Amborse Bierce

An observatory is where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.


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