Original thought is like original sin: Both happened before you were born to people you could not possibly have met.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

Fran Lebowitz

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

If you are of the opinion that contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

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