The things most people want to know about are usually none of their business.

There are not enough competent people in the world to go around; somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors.

A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

Patriotism is your conviction that your country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

What does it mean when you make a mistake and nobody notices it?

It isn't the minutes at the table that add pounds. It's the seconds!

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