We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.
Truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities, truth isn't.
To be good is noble. But to teach others how to be good is nobler...and less trouble.
There is no use in walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Man is the only animal that blushes...or needs to.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.