John Jensen

The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry.

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

Jackie Mason

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.


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