To determine who the boss is, notice who's watching the clock during coffee breaks.

Some people say they have nothing to wear; others demonstrate it.

To understand the enormous job of cleaning up the environment, start cleaning out your garage.

Class reunion: where you conclude that most of the people your age seem to be a lot older than you.

Class reunion: where everybody gets together to see who is falling apart.

The mortality rates of both smokers and non-smokers are 100 percent. The only difference is the timing.

You pay twice for cigarettes: when you get them, and when they get you.

Nine out of ten people who change their minds are wrong the second time, too.

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